Today I think I have decided to try to forgive him.

Today I think I have decided to try to forgive him.

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He started therapy asap after being caught. He swore that he had been trying to stop. The evidence does support this.
He has given me full access to everything, and never complains when I demand to see his phone.
I told him to give me his ring last week. As he removed it, he asked why. I asked him if he thought he deserved to have it. He said no.
Last week he came clean about everything. I don't believe his numbers but I truly believe that he doesn't know and is saying what he thinks is correct.
With the exception of this, we have never argued. Married for 17 years. We don't argue about money, the house, jobs, kids, yard work, discipline, medical issues, nothing. We have always been on the same page.
Yesterday we were out. he stopped me, bent down, picked my dirty , snow and mud covered foot up and placed it on his bent knee. he tied my boot that had come undone. This is the type of thing he has always done. I know it is a small gesture, but this is what our marriage was like.
I am tired of always being mad and sad.
I am tired of the kids being effected by our arguments.
I am tired of dropping the ball when it comes to the kids education. (their grades are crap this year).

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He has also bean going to sa meetings. he absolutely hates it, but he goes. Most of the men are there by court order and a few have ankle bracelets. He has missed a few meetings, but he needs to leave work about an hour early to make it, and cant always do that.

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Bee4bdn's picture
[49450]
Jan 11

@BrokenHawk and @After28years Forgiveness is Not about Forgetting. God didn't just up and forgive Israel. They had to turn from their wicked ways and show proof of that for a long while First. They also had to ask for His forgiveness. Your anger is Justified. Once that is acknowledged then you'll have an easier time with letting go of the past.
@skhc Empathic people are often codependent and make excuses for other people's behavior in their head. I say that because I'm an Empath that used to be Codependent. I hold people accountable now instead of offering them an excuse. All that I can see or feel now are a person's actions.
@cantseestraight I'm sure your H has moved a lot of dirt out of your way in order for you to overcome and come to this conclusion. I'm very happy for you both. It's still going to be two steps forward one back for awhile but that's still moving forward. God Bless.

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