Happy 2020!!!
"The best is yet to come."
-Frank Sinatra

Today has been very emotional for me & you guys are the only

Today has been very emotional for me & you guys are the only ones I feel comfortable talking to. I don't know why but it's like everything just came down on me all at once. I am in my jobs parking lot crying. I keep thinking of all the things my X did to me. He cheated on me for years & never made up for it. But he always made me feel like I was such a nagger & always looking for things. I think back on certain days that I felt so alone because he was cheating around that time but I didn't realize than.

I wanted my family to work. I have kids that I am raising on my own & it hurts like hell. I was always right I suspected things & he made me feel like I was running him away with my suspicions. I felt guilty for awhile thinking that I did push him away but I didn't. He cheated every opportunity he got especially during my last pregnancy. During our separation someone told some very disturbing things he used to do with other women when he wasn't at home.

I feel so depressed it makes me not want to go on because I can't shake these feelings or thoughts & I hate it. He didn't even show any remorse knowing the things he got away with. He's living his happy life & I am here stuck in depression. I feel so sorry for my kids I am trying my best to hang on there but it's not fair to them that I can't function properly because of what I allowed their sorry excuse for a dad to cause.

I feel horrible I have been taking my antidepressants but it's not helping. I have a appointment with my therapist via phone tomorrow but I don't really want to talk to her because she doesn't understand. I hate myself so much right. All I pray & ask for is for God to get me through this.

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[4670]
Dec 15

@Bee4bdn well I'm glad to hear that your marriage survived & that you guys are happy. Your story is the first happy ending for me. I wish you guys many more years together & nothing but the best.

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[14010]
Dec 16

@Lifehurts2018 you have to support me back apparently before I can message you.

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[4670]
Dec 17
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