So with it being past midnight where I live i am now a week

John99's picture
(1350)

So with it being past midnight where I live i am now a week in since she told me. I got back into town to find out she had told are 18 year old son.
For the record he is my step son but I raised him since he was 3 so he is mine. Father bailed when he wasn't even 1.
I was really angry that she told him while I was gone. Sadly but not surprisingly he tried to cover for her. It took a while for him to get that I really knew. I am not mad at him he did what I knew he would do in that situation.
As for her she doesn't know what she wants. She claims they were more friends then anything else and they haven't had sex in several months. I don't really believe it but I really don't have a choice but to except it.
Now on to me. As twisted as it seems at times I still love her and want to fix it but she just doesn't want to as for a I can tell.
To add to my problems I wrote her an email while I was on the road and made the mistake of mentioning it. She pushed me to send it and i did.
It held nothing back and somehow someway I end up saying im sorry. I don't know how she does it. She's done something wrong I remain calm but I end up saying im sorry even when she encourages me to do something that upset her. Lord i wish I had that ability. Those are the low lights this week. One week down a life time to go.

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@John99 Yes, I totally get that. It was a big thing for me to try and give everything I had to repairing the marriage. In 15 years, I wanted to be able to look myself (and my kids) in the eye, and say I did all I could.

I wish the best for you all.

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John99's picture
(1350)
Apr 10

@jamiemaddrox2020
Thank you its surprising how many people don't get it and judge you

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CanUSeeTheRealMe's picture
(3895)
Apr 10

@John99 that is a heartbreaking story, I am really sorry for the hurt you both have gone through and I understand your wanting to try. The good news is that you did straighten your life out and that counts for a lot. You may not realize it now but it is something that you have chosen to do in order to make it right and its not easy to heal old wounds. You are right that it does not justify what she has and is doing by any means.There are always underlying circumstances, just like you admitted that your mothers death played a big role in how it affected you. We all have burdens to bear. She now has made mistakes that she is bearing even if she thinks she can justify it. It is a delicate situation and everyone is hurt in this. I pray you will all find peace. All you can do is to do what you have been doing which is changing your life for the better. Never forget that. Even if it was late, you now have a track record of putting effort into making your life better and accepting your responsibility. God Bless you really. You have a good heart. I hope she can see that and that you do love her.

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