So today's conversation was!!!! He doesn't know how to feel
So today's conversation was!!!! He doesn't know how to feel and how his happy only lasts a few minutes. So I decided to send him an article on sociopaths. He got the role perfectly. He then tells me he can't feel happiness and he doesn't know what wrong with him, but he somehow loves me. He was abused as a child, got hit a few times and bla bla. So he apparently has all the answers and refuses to try. So says he thinks divorce is the right path to take... but wants a civil one. What's that mean? We can still be friends and so on! Haaaaaa, no thanks. I've been your mat for way too long. It's either marriage or nothing. Like he keeps wanting his cake and eat it too. No way! Then he texts me and says I always make him say what he thinks I wanna hear...... why don't you try harder for a change. So saying you want divorce is me forcing it on you? Wow! This is like a soap opera!!!!
I can see where some divorces can be civil but what makes them think they can cheat and still have a civil divorce is beyond me. H and I use to talk about if we divorced than we would keep things civil because there is no reason to have a war. But that is when I didn't think he would cheat on me repeatedly and destroy everything we had worked for. That changes things. Now he talks about coming over for family game nights and going out to dinner as a family, etc. I'm sorry but the kind of betrayal they have shown does not lend itself to a friendship. I agree with you, if we aren't married than we aren't friends. Being friends hurts to much. Forget it. Sounds like you are better off without him. I am sorry that things have gone this way for you but maybe it will be better for you.
@JCAL you're right. It's all about the having your cake and eating it too. Like you've broken all trust and vows, now you want to pretend you are a good person. Once the children find out what you've done, you won't be able to pretend. It's like they want to have fun and cheat and also not suffer any torture.
My H is still under the impression that he is a good person. I will admit that he is not a horrible person but he's not as good as people believe him to be. He doesn't want people to know the truth about the divorce. He knows that people will look differently at him. But I will say that you should try to keep the cheating from your kids. Depending on their age it will be too traumatic. If he is a good father than don't take that from your children. When they are older it will likely come out but not yet.