So my wife decided she wanted to spend a few nights at her g

[1475]

So my wife decided she wanted to spend a few nights at her grandma's, because she needs a break. She came home this morning and says sorry that she hurt me. This is the third time in a year and a half that she has actually apologized. Each time it was the same "I'm sorry for hurting you". I can't help but think, is she not sorry she actually cheated. Is she only sorry for hurting me? Am I overthinking this? I'm glad she feels some remorse, but...

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Bee4bdn's picture
[49730]
Oct 12

One of the first books that I read after Dday was Runaway Husband’s it made me very grateful that my H was still sitting across from me willing to work this out. I kept thanking him and it throughly confused him. My cousin wasn’t so lucky. It took her almost 3 years to move forward. She was suicidal almost every day. Our grandma had told me years ago not to let anybody live my life for me. She probably told her too idk. She’s married to a new guy now but OMG it was touch and go for what seemed like forever. Remembering what she did go through on Dday helped me focus on what I was really willing to tolerate. Her H thought he was beyond redemption. He has since come to her and wanted her back but she's remarried now. You can’t unbreak and unscramble eggs. If you’re a Wayward ~ Think first!

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Fooled's picture
[7745]
Oct 13

@Lady Singing Bird I don't understand how they can feel justified. I was always nice to my wife even though she was not nice to me. I can go on and on and on.. granted I'm far from perfect, I'm not an unattractive guy, I'm in very very good shape too and I've been asked to "go for a drink or more" more than a few times. Never would simply because it wasn't in me..
I've prayed and prayed as well.. the only thing I can think is the ending of my marriage would be his gift to me. I just don't know, but i do ask for his forgiveness as we as a couple failed him in his eyes.. we were married inthe church and now through issues and her infidelity it will end. Sad really.. loving someone who doesn't love you and failing the big guy is kind of an S* sandwhich..

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@Fooled I wrote my husband a poem explaining my pain in my heart, I did write about cheating as well. His comment again is that I am mean to him. God help me, I don't know what I am doing to be mean.
Poem called the Affair
What we can't replace is the rush that the person gets from the affair, it is like a drug addition in a different way.
 
Oh God how I long for me to be the one he wants to call, but how I can I be like a drug that causes the endorphins to activate?
 
How I long for his total commitment to me. My heart pounds with anxiety my eyes just well up and cry, my soul cries out in my deep aloneness.
 
Please be me, please see me, see me inside, feel my heart pain. I'm the one who has been here 31 years for you, makes your coffee everyday, breakfast, lunch, dinner, wash your clothes, clean the house, and your partner that you have shunned. Please show me you care.
 
I want your heart beat with excitement every time when you hear my voice, and think wonderful thoughts of me for being such a loving devoted wife.
 
The things that true love is developed on not just a fleeting rush of fleshly desire and excitement like those that take a mood enhanced sexual drug.
 
Their rush of the drug soon wears offs, so to get back to the point another excitement must be come, just like the person addicted to meth.
 
Unless they discover that it is them that is faulty not the one they are cheating on and stop that drug go cold turkey.
 
Search inside and realize the good they have, appreciate the true love that is more than just physical sex.
 
The love that grows day by day, a love deep down of wow, you are an awesome person.
 
But what happens when outsiders come in, that outsider hates you and wants to destroy those underlying feeling that they have for you.
 
They are jealous but our unsuspecting cheating spouse falls for it.

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