So I am new here and having the worst day of my life. My wif

John99's picture

So I am new here and having the worst day of my life. My wife of 14 years told me she has been having an affair for over a year today. We have been having problems for a couple of years and had talked of separating so she could find herself. She says she has feelings for the guy but still loves me. She doesn't know what she wants.
I had to get out for awhile and while driving my car i nearly ran off the road when I hit the stearing wheel.
I feel like I should be screaming and throwing things but all I want is to fix our marriage because I still deeply love her.
The thing is I can't stop picturing it and it is making me crazy.
We have three kids and I want what is best for them. How can I do what is best for them when they have 2 parents that are so screwed up.
We have agreed to counseling and she says she is going to end it. We also agreed to take things one day at a time.
Still I just don't know what to do going forward. I am hoping this will help me finds the right way forward

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John99's picture
Apr 6

@forever-heartbroken thank you for saying im not stupid. The few people I told because I was in a position where I had to have been extremely judgemental about me not kicking her out. I love her so much. Right now I am working on is what do I love more her or the idea of us and what we were. Once I can answer that I will know the right path. Really leaning towards her. Once again thank you it really helps to hear someone understands

Apr 6

Only you can decide what is right for you. People say you should do this or that but they haven’t been in your shoes. There is no shame in trying to make your marriage work.

John99's picture
Apr 6

Thank you. In all honesty I am trying to decide if I should try. When im around her that is all I can think about. I am on a road trip trying to figure out that answer. But I am leaning heavily towards trying.
Even if I want to she has to also and in the end I don't know if she really will. All I can do is get my mind right

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