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So hard to write, but having a really bad night. I've been


So hard to write, but having a really bad night. I've been married for 10 years to the love of MY life, not the same for him. 4 years into our marriage he admitted to cheating on me. I chose to believe him that he would never do it again. Stupid me! In January of 2016, he admitted to a five year affair.... friends with benefits... with a co-worker who was a former stripper. He even admitted that he asked her to strip for him after hours in his office....she did... they had sex....she was married also. At the time he admitted it... that one had ended but he was currently having an affair with another co-worker.... this one was legally married but separated for @20 years.... they have kids....but she is currently living with her boyfriend of 20 years... they had built a house together. Even better, her "legal husband", current boyfriend and my husband all work for the same company!!!! I don't even know what to say! I found out he took $ from our savings and took her to Mexico this December.... He told me he was staying at his mom's over an hour away to get his head together. At this point, he's not hiding g it. He comes home during the week between 8-10 pm, then he packs his bag on the weekend and tells me he doesn't know when he will be home.... sometimes it's 2 am, 4 am....sometimes the next day. I think he is playing mind games with me.... playing the victim....He doesn't want to be here because I throw it in his face.... she doesn't....I'm better off without him.... he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. The best part is the day before Valentine's day (he was out of town with his job), he called me and told me he loves me.... but fell out of love with me (go figure) and he doesn't like being apart from his new fling.....then he sends me a dozen roses at work!!!! I think he is mental! So on v day, I went home on lunch.... called a lawyer.... and I have a consultation on Monday. Then I's not what I wanted.... I love him and wanted him to love me back....just so devastated!!!! Thanks to anyone who can help me bc I am just so lost and lonely at this point

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Feb 18, 2017

@darah thank you so much! I am trying to be strong ....thanks for your prayers... I need them.

Sdiamond1026's picture
Feb 18, 2017

Thanks, I hope things get better for you soon.

Eevie's picture
Feb 19, 2017

@Amy13 Yes. we are. We are in the beginning of opening up our marriage and seeing if it will work. We both have been cheated on in the past and realize how damaging lying and cheating is, so we're going to try an approach of being open and supportive of each other seeing other people. So far its only been him, I don't really have the time, but our relationship has been stronger and we've been more open talking about our feelings and needs than ever before. So i'm hopeful it will be beneficial. I'm sorry he's being so rude and inconsiderate of your feelings. All the other commenters are absolutely right. Having gone through my ex cheating on me for 2 years without me knowing, then when it all blew up it was somehow my fault. It is totally his projection to justify his actions. You don't deserve that and it isn't your fault. How are you doing this weekend? Thinking of you. :)


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