Recently, We've had two individual sessions with our counsel

Recently, We've had two individual sessions with our counselor and next friday, we have a joint session again... . In the last 2-3 weeks, we've had some heated discussions where I have really told my wife that I just can't do this anymore...(her still working with the AP).... She has really been distant the last few weeks...she says it's because I was cold to her ( I was... I get like that when this issue really starts to bother me)...

I'm really nervous about our next session. I love my wife, and I don't want our marriage to end....but I really cannot see me doing this for another indefinite amount of time. It's been 6 years, and I've managed, but I think it's time for her to find another job. Am I wrong for making an issue of this? She says she only has contact with him when absolutely necessary and from what I know, she is telling the truth.

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Leahzan's picture
Jan 15

@jamiemaddrox2020 yeah, she needs to leave the job. I've tried every angle to see her side and I see that you've owned your role in the breakdown of the marriage. It seems like she is unwilling to own hers, and her continued role. My husband's AP stayed in contact with him as a confidante and friend for years after their physical affair ended. I resented that and could never have considered moving on unless they completely broke off contact. The reality is that her continued friendship with him is a betrayal to you. And, worse off she knows you consider it a betrayal.

Jan 15

@Stacey0906 ‘completely reboot his entire system.’ Love this! So true!


Spent most of the weekend away as I had to take my daughter to a softball tournament and my wife is quarantining for her upcoming surgery. You'd think being away, I would miss her and feel better when I got here, but all I am is mad that I am yet again in a position where I have to "manage my feelings" about her working with the AP... when is someone (besides me) gonna tell her to get her **** together?

I know the emails were not sexual, but they are still a betrayal. She kind of tried to play dumb about it last time we talked. That is my topic next counseling session... No more playing dumb and trying to argue minutia. There is a clear difference between right and wrong. Her inability to take accountability for things shouldn't really surprise me any more, but it always does.

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