New here, so I'm still trying to figure this all out. Newly

New here, so I'm still trying to figure this all out. Newly married, and trying to figure out how to work through finding out my husband has been cyber cheating. It's been pretty difficult to work through, I don't have anyone to talk to and I really don't want others to think badly of him. He is being remorseful, and has admitted to messing up. I was able to read through the emails and I have a general idea of everything that occurred. He says he has a problem? Is that even possible? He's even gone as far as to reach out to the pastor and have lunch. He has been given daily scriptures to read, and they have established a group meeting to begin next Thursday. I'm just trying to understand.

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@PB2020 agreed, the religion alone is not enough, although hopefully it helps. A lot of clergy are trained in how to help people with various issues... maybe they can explore some of the things that caused him to give in to this behavior.

@whatnext87 you are under no obligation to follow any certain formula or give it any certain time beyond what you feel is warranted. You will do the best you can each day, and you will survive.

Best wishes.

Whatnext87's picture
Jan 21

@jamiemaddrox2020 Thank you. It definitely helps to have found this place, and to see there are others who deal with similar situations.

devastatedinptbo's picture
Jan 24

I highly recommend that he seek out professional advice from a trained therapist who has experience with infidelity. He needs to get to the roots of what patterns of thinking and behaving he had that have allowed him to justify his actions. It’s likely that he needs some assistance with maturing emotionally. Building better communication skills as a couple would also be a good idea. Address these issues now before they become bigger down the road. A good relationship building book our therapist recommended was: Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson. A good book that specifically addresses infidelity and relationship boundaries is : Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass.


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