My partner revealed to me that he has been using webcam site

My partner (of 5 years) revealed to me that he has been using webcam sites for a year or two. He watches webcams, but prefers being on the webcam while strangers watch and chat. He has lots of followers on his webcam profile. At first I didn't really care because I'm pretty open about sex. However, I felt pretty hurt that he hid it from me for so long and insecure that maybe there was more. I asked if he had ever cheated on me and he said no. I asked 2 more times the next day because I was still feeling weird about it, but he assured me that he never had been with someone else in real life. Then, I looked at his messages (which I had never done as I had always trusted him, but now the trust had been broken.) I saw that mere weeks ago when he was travelling he had gone to a girl's house and fooled around with her. He was following her on social media and they had been liking each others photos. I confronted him and he apologized and said he was scared of hurting me and felt like an idiot. He wants to work it out. He blocked her number and her social media. I still feel so betrayed - he has been keeping so much from me and lied to me to my face even when I asked directly. He actually got a tattoo from her too so every time I look at him I see this stupid tattoo immortalizing their time together. He has been an amazing and supportive partner up until now and I can't imagine my life without him (and he seems sincere about wanting to fix things). But I feel like I would be a big idiot to stay. What the hell do I do?

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[285]
Jan 15

My wife always gives me the "I didn't tell you about this because I didn't want to hurt you" . It's a crock and an escape.

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flower90's picture
[285]
Jan 15

@Tedb2125 I know!!! It's just an excuse for being selfish.

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[285]
Jan 15

It only makes things worse because you never can tell if they are telling the truth or not. I would so much more want her to be brutally honest once and for all so that I could begin to work though this crap than be held in this wondering limbo!!!

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