My husband of 15 years is having an affair. He has been havi

[705]

My husband of 15 years is having an affair. He has been having it for 6 months now. He is living at his moms. We have a 16 and an 11 year old. We own a home. We had a good life. We went on date nights to disneyland and nights hotels while the kids stayed with my mom. We survived me having a brain injury and him having thyroid cancer. We were a strong unit. We're we perfect of course not. But we didn't hate eachother and we had good sex. WE used to go to VEgas together for a weekend. Now he takes her to Disneyland and the same hotels and restaurants we went to. He wont come home to us. I have begged a thousand times. I have heard of many couples that survive an affair. Why can't we? I am so broken. I never thought this could happen to me or us. We always had eachother. We came from nothing and built a great life together. He is just throwing it all away for this coworker. I can't accept the loss. The kids and I are in therapy. Is there any cheater out there that can talk to me and help me understand all this? Or anyone for that matter

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[1305]
Apr 17

@Hecheated that’s a good way to think about it. It takes a very strong woman to stay, and with what your going through, your husband truly doesn’t realize how good he has it. I’m going to try and think like this and see if it helps me. Thank you.

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TeCHer's picture
[660]
Apr 17

I think I may have something that will help. I was completely at a loss until I read the transcripts of an interview on infatuation. You can find the interview's transcripts at this link: http://bit.ly/2DqD0Ss I wish you would let me know if it helps. It made a tremendous difference to me. Also, in getting my head on straight about how I should respond I read an excellent book called Love Must Be Tough by James Dobson. It really helped. Let me know if you read the transcripts and what you thought of them.

I'm sorry. I know you are in pain and confused. I survived it because of my faith. I would add that my husband and I are together which is a complete miracle because he was begging her to leave her husband at one point. I got to see him completely turn around and change. But, I also came to learn that even if he didn't, I was going to be okay and that was a real moment of being set free for me.

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[705]
Apr 17

@TeCHer thank you so much. I will definitely check it out! I spoke with him today. I just don’t know where I’m at. Bravo to u and your husband! How amazing that you two did that and got past it. That says huge things about what kind of people you are!

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