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My husband and I are in a better place. He is loving, he is

My husband and I are in a better place. He is loving, he is sweet, and constantly being affectionate. He shows me his phone computer and iPad whenever I want if I’m nervous. I mean he’s doing all the right things. Yet the better we get, the worse I get. I am more upset, more depressed , more scared. My anxiety is off the charts. I’m so frustrated. And we started seeing a counselor but there is something about her I just don’t like and I’m not sure she is the right fit for me. I just don’t know what to do

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[2325]
Jun 12

@Kas1966 It's called the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D. It is a pretty lengthy document (465 pages) but it goes over PTSD and managing symptoms, treatment, etc. I have it as a PDF. I'd be happy to email it to you or send it to you somehow but I don't think I can post a PDF on here?

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whitewinter's picture
[1655]
Jun 12

Thank you guys , I will look at the video and look up the audio book mentioned. And I’d also be interested in reading the pdf you mentioned ep83, maybe you could upload it and share a link?.
Yeah I’m just not sure about this counselor, I mean I am a very head strong nontrusting person by nature. Sadly growing up I was exposed to a lot of crappy people and I am always analyzing, watching and reading people. It is like a talent at this point lol. And this counselor said nothing, yet I already felt she looked at me as the screwed up one and my husband as the normal guy who got stuck with the dysfunctional girl. Which actually couldn’t be farther from the truth. But that’s just the impression she left upon me. But given my nature I am gonna go back and see her one more time and if I still feel that way I am gonna go look for someone else. But I’m having the same problem as mentioned above. It takes forever to get an appointment with these people and then you wait, you don’t like them and you start all over. And this is our second counselor. So frustrating

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[785]
Jun 13

I agree that if the counselor doesn't feel right then start over and keep starting over until you find the right one. It's a pain in the rear but in the end will be worth the hassle as I feel one of the most important aspects in rebuilding the marriage is having the right kind of trust in the counselor leading the rebuilding.
To work on you I suggest finding something you love to do or try something different. I took up running. I hated to run (I can't say that I love it now but I still run) and I was never allowed to run because it was counter-productive to the sport I was in. But now I run. I started out barely being able to even jog for a minute. I would walk/jog in small increments. In small amounts I realized I was walking for less time and jogging for longer periods. Pretty soon I realized I was jogging for the entire time I was out so I started increasing my distances. My confidence grew leaps and bounds. There was something comforting in hearing my own breath and feeling my heart beating. Before I knew it I decided to enter a 5k. I would never have done that before. I finished my first 5k and then entered another. I knew I wanted to beat my previous time even if only by 1 second. Then my daughter invited me to enter a half marathon with her. Say what? I'm not a runner was still going through my head but enter and finish that half marathon I did! My husband was my biggest supporter and encourager during the entire process. He even walked the half marathon! He is not an exercise type person at all so even walking 13.1 miles was huge for him. We were so proud of each other and it is still one of my favorite moments on our journey back to a healthy marriage. We are healthier individuals and even stronger together now.
My point is that finding something that's for you, makes you feel good about yourself and maybe even if it stretches your boundaries could be just what your marriage needs.

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