Marriage counselor says I need to find ways to express my an

Piwo33's picture
[25875]

Marriage counselor says I need to find ways to express my anger in healthy ways so I can express other emotions more freely. Any advice on what "Healthy Anger" looks like? My wife says she just feels like a punching bag when I get into those emotions. She's right but I still need her to know how I'm feeling.

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Piwo33's picture
[25875]
Oct 12

@Andyst I think you nailed it. The pain is addictive. I just read back through this thread and I see how many times I've said I've tried this or that but can't find the motivation to continue. Am I addicted to this pain? Is that why I'm not able to let it go? Does feeling this way give me an excuse to not be fully present with my job, kids, life, etc? Doesn't feel good to say that but your response has me thinking! Thanks for replying.

Thanks to everyone for your replies!

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[8895]
Oct 12

@Piwo33 I am struggling to with living in this pain. It is hugely difficult to change your brain's patterns of thinking/behaving. It can be done, but yes, we need to stick with it and be vigilant in recognizing when we are falling back into unproductive habits. I to am going to renew my meditation practice as it really does help when I follow through. Sometimes making myself join a group or course is most effective because then I've made a real commitment that I have to follow through with.

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[8950]
Oct 13

I know this sounds silly but years ago when my husband and went to counseling for his aggression issues etc our counselor told us to try holding hands when communicating. So when we had arguments or discussions we held hands and it seemed to work. We stopped doing that at some point obviously because I am in the boat I'm in now but at the time I was grateful

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