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Looking for a bit of advice. My wife has been open with me (

Looking for a bit of advice. My wife has been open with me (she came clean - albeit a year after it happened!) and I know about when certain events happened etc.
But I’m a details man and literally want to know everything - for me this is what I need to get closure and help us move on. The one thing I’m desperate to know is how they crossed that initial boundary from friend to (I can’t even say it!), but of course the first day was when they were both really drunk so she doesn’t know specifics.
I’d also like to know exactly what she said to him but again she can’t remember - as it was so long ago (if only she had thought to tell me at the time ey!).
I know this was a mistake, I know she feels so bad - I don’t doubt she’s being genuine. And to be honest I ‘think’ (although not 100%) she is telling the truth. But
For me I just can’t get closure. I’m really struggling to look past it. What on earth do I do? It’s a huge flaw in my character, I just need to know everything. And sadly I don’t think she can give it.
I don’t want to lose her. But I worry for my health as my mind just keeps racing round trying to make sense of it - which ultimately I can’t do as to me I don’t have the complete picture.

Am I being ridiculous (as it is only minor, specific, details that I want)?

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Aug 13

@MrBrains thanks for taking the time to respond.
This is my point though, I’m not her I’m prepared/or even want to lose it all simply because she can’t remember what was said.
I have all other details (where/when/what happened) so she has been open. But it’s just what was said.
I keep asking myself is it worth throwing away 16 year relationship, 5 year marriage and 3 kids because she can’t remember certain words over a year ago. Surely not.
It just does kill me as I am so obsessed with detail

Aug 13

@johnyun20 it’s been 14 months

Aug 14

@Hyundai25 You will get more details in time. You would think you will have it by now.


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