It's been three weeks since I found out my husband was cheat

It's been three weeks since I found out my husband was cheating on me. Even though he says it was a mistake and wants to save our marriage, I can't avoid thinking that if I hadn't caught him, things would be the same. In my oponion, if you make a mistake then you end up regreting and confessing it. Admit your mistake, truly apologize and make a commitment. That is not the case here. He was pretty comfy living a good life with his misstress and a great family life. He had the best of both worlds and he was happy. He lost all this because I found out and now he"s being forced to stop seeing her, not because it was his choice. He says he is sorry, but I told him mayor you are sorry because your perfect life is over. If he had been honest with me and confessed his affair before I discovered it, maybe just maybe, it would have been easier for me to believe him

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[11455]
Sep 17

My wife confessed on her own. It didn't make a difference in the end because she still loved her AP and would have left me in a heartbeat if he had similar feelings. He didn't, he is a user and serial cheater. Something she had known for the better part of 30 years but she just had to have him. I felt sorry for her almost as much as I did myself. How pathetic was that? I think I would prefer to have caught her myself. I would have been in a better frame of mind if that makes sense. I wasted too much time on how her AP treated her than I did on how she treated me. I have seen that scenario from a few posters here. My advice is, no matter how psycho or narcissistic the AP is, our significant other chose to be with them and disrespect us.

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[170]
Sep 21

So sad to hear. I would think that counseling would be a good option. I have heard of some really good ones. Personally, I'd choose a christian counselor because they believe in marriage. They believe in repentance, starting over, marriage is sacred, forgiveness, and learning to trust again. Do you go to church or have a friend that does because sometimes there are counselors or pastors there that can help too. I do know there is a network of christian counselors that are good and in most areas too. Praying for you to find help if you need it, and a joyful end to this situation!

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[125]
Sep 21

I have to agree with Sac555. This is a tough situation and it has only been three weeks since you found out about this. The hurt/betrayal is so fresh. It would be great to get an objective bystander(counselor) to help you process the whole situation. Would he be open to marriage counseling? It is so important that you both deal with the truth of the situation. Figure out how and why it happened. It is a painful process but I am proof that reconciliation is possible.

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