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It's been a long time since i've posted. I think mostly bec

It's been a long time since i've posted. I think mostly because it felt as though reading everyone's pain knowing how much pain they were in caused me to hit a road block in my healing. Even today reading posts i have a hard time. I have moved out of our house and don't know if i will ever go back. I feel i was the only one working on fixing whatever it is that went wrong while he put in a half hearted effort. I got sick of waiting for the same answer for two years. We have talked more in the last few months about his affair than we did when he first got caught. It's raw and painful sometimes and can put me in a tail spin but I know that it has to be said. I've said some not so nice things, mostly to try to hurt him. I feel bad after saying them but find that i cannot control myself. Somone on here said a while ago, that nothing well change until you leave. He was right. I do not know what my future holds...that makes me sad and happy.

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Jul 11

@Kas1966 first, how are you doing..and selfishly, i am happy you are still active on here, you have good insight. I moved out 3 months i feel like i'm moving forward, the honest answer is it that depends on the day. I feel like a gal without a home. I miss my home. So much has happened in the last three months that i/we haven't had a lot of time to focus anymore than we do on our marriage. So some days, i am feeling impatient and want to say f it all and some days i'm like you've got this.

Kas1966's picture
Jul 11

@Lsoozer that's pretty normal the what I like to call the yo-yo affect. As far as the "home" goes after dday my home just became a dwelling. It no longer stood for what I thought it did. Sounds like you had to go the distance for him to realize what he was losing. Good he needs to realize that. But always just breathe you've got this.

Jul 12

Sorry you are going through this. AFter D-Day in my home, he left- he knew he had to-- It was probably the best thing we did. It made him realize what he lost and he had to fight his way back. Have you tried counseling... it helped me tremendously to get my emotions in check and to help me put in perspective the things I was hung up on and then we moved forward slowly.


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