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It’s so sad that our marriage losses it’s “ innocence

It’s so sad that our marriage losses it’s “ innocence “ after an affair . Everyone talks about forgiveness but what about us forgiving ourselves for staying ???

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Bee4bdn's picture
[72655]
Feb 14

@Ceciliamcd I had to acknowledge that I deserved to be the happy one. It was the most selfish thing I’d ever done in my life. My husband was begging me to give him a second chance. He was willing to do whatever it took to keep me. That even included tolerating any and all wrath I poured out on him. Yes I did pour it out! Eventually I grew tired of being that angry b!tch that I wasn’t. I deserve to be happy. You do too. I set aside that false perception I had been portraying to the world and I accepted myself just as I am. Just as Christ accepts both myself and my husband right where we are. We were repentant and that made us deserving. We now have overcome this attack on our marriage. Make no mistake this was an attack. This whole thing is a spiritual war. Neither of us is a chump. That’s not to say there aren’t chumps but as long as your husband rings your bell. Keep him. My grandmother gave me that advise! She knew what she was talking about. After my grandfather died she stopped claiming to be divorced and she started claiming to be widowed. They were soulmates but after 30 years she divorced him and for the next 20 years he tried to win her back. All that did was keep them apart. Don’t let this keep you apart from your soulmate.

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[20225]
Feb 14

I felt the exact same way when I took my husband back. Part of me felt like I let him get away with it. Like I let myself down....that I didn't stand up for myself.
I think only time can tell you what is right. And nobody should rush you in that decision. A lot of it depends of the remorse fulness and attitude of the cheater. Take time to take care of yourself. Love yourself. Shower yourself with self love. And give yourself time. Hugs

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[20225]
Feb 14

The pain of betrayal is multifaceted and complex. Something so intensely heart breaking you can't explain. Self guilt on top of that is unbearable and you don't deserve it. I admire you so much for trying so hard to keep your marriage intact. He is blessed to have you.

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