Is it weird to be over it? I dont even care anymore. If he w

Is it weird to be over it? I dont even care anymore. If he wants to be with her then go be with her but let me live my life!

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(3155)
Apr 9

@Alostlover Yes I agree with you. I'm always poised for pain, my mind pre-prepares itself. Overtime, I did become extremely numb. I cared so much that I just kind of braced myself for pain, so I would rationalize, day dream, escape through exercise/food/entertainment, or do whatever I could do make the pain go away or to provide relief. That "forgive forgive forgive", it's exhausting. The only thing that has helped me heal within this relationship, is my H being invested in looking inward, changing bad habits/reactions, and being empathetic towards the destruction he's caused. He has gone to therapy now for almost 2 years with a solid therapist who has helped him get at the root of his issues, and also has developed a faith he hasn't tapped into in his life. It's pretty drastic, but just a hopeful story for cheating men who are very broken, that change can actually happen should they desire it. It took probably a solid year of forgive forgive forgive, pain, and a lot of scars to get here though. Roller coaster ride of hell.

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Scat's picture
(338985)
Apr 9

@Alostlover So they act like they have the upper hand and we're lucky to have them after the scummy thing they did. Yeah, I get where you're coming from. Your spouse is blessed you stayed and should show you the appreciation you deserve. If mine had even once admitted what he did or apologized it may have made a difference back then. Now it's too late and I'll never feel the same. So even if he did, I'd never stay. But believe it or not, he still didn't. He robbed me of five years of my life after cancer. That's what I find mind boggling how he could live with himself knowing I don't have much time to live.

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Scat's picture
(338985)
Apr 9

@Alostlover It is very selfish and you truly deserve better. Remember, no one else will put you first. So you have to. That's what I learned from this. I don't mean to say I became selfish. I just learned I deserve better and would never get it from him, so I have to look out for me.

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