In response to a recent discussion stream I would like to s

[11590]

In response to a recent discussion stream I would like to say that any of us going through infidelity clearly have issues in our relationships that need addressing. People get busy, distracted, stressed out and their relationships suffer. Couples become 'unconnected'. NEITHER spouses needs are being met in these situations. However, in NO WAY, does this justify cheating. Infidelity only complicates an already difficult situation and causes REAL TRAUMA to the betrayed spouse. The cheater needs to be truly remorseful for what they have done. They need to accept FULL RESPONSIBILITY for their choice and for the immense pain they have inflicted on their spouse. In NO WAY should the betrayed spouse be made to think they are at fault for their spouses choice to cheat. To rebuild a strong relationship and move forward, I agree, communication is key. Both spouses need to be open, & honest about their feelings and needs. Both need to be willing to work hard & to listen and respond to their spouse in a loving manner. In regards to the infidelity, BLAME SHIFTING and MINIMIZING of the trauma/pain caused are signs that the betrayer has not accepted responsibility and is not truly remorseful.

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Kas1966's picture
[9560]
Nov 14

I am pretty sure I know who this is directed to. Just adding my backing to you 100 percent.

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[8065]
Nov 14

Sometimes we may never have the reasons why our spouses decided to cheat. Some relationship will recover from infidelity while others won't. Like you said the the cheater has to remorseful and sorry and take full responsibility for what they did. Which my husband has done.

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[1905]
Nov 20

Totally agree. As someone who has cheated on there partner I can assure you that communication is of the utmost importance. I have started out recovering from these choices I have made and it is easy to lose sight of the path you are trying to go down. It can become foggy through exhaustion and bad habits that have been there for years. If you are lucky enough to gain a second chance at the relationship constant reaffirming of what your needs, wants, goals, tasks etc are crucial.

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