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I'm sorry if this is long and it seems like I'm rambling but

I'm sorry if this is long and it seems like I'm rambling but today was not a good day. The pain I feel is unbearable. On Saturday I printed out the text messages between my husband and the OW and gave them to him. The only thing he could say was "where did you get all this from". I asked him her name and when did he start seeing her. Of course he lied and said he started talking to her in November. I don't beleven you. I know she works with you and she 10 yrs yonger than you. I asked him to pack his bags and move out. He asked if he could stay until the end of the week. I agreed but made it clear that he had to be out of the house by Friday. After share with him that I knew his dirty little secret he never apologize. Today I decided to look back at the phone records today, and I discovered they started talking August 2016. how could I have missed the signs. Hes been talking to the OW Since august 2016 and I'm just finding out 4 days before Christmas 2017 that he's been cheating. Are you kidding me. I been trying very hard to be maturity about this but when I got home from work I had the biggest outburst since finding out about his affair. I went to his man cave with his golf club and began to destroy all of the pictures on the wall. Please please try not to judge me to hard but I needed to release all that was built up in me. I know this is not the maturit thing to do but I'm so so mad I don't know what else to do. I feel bad for my outburst because my son (25 yrs old) was home at the time. I don't want to destroy their relationship. I feel like the biggest fool for not seeing the signs earlier. Does it get easier will I ever stop crying and feeling hopeless, powerless, worthless, and not sure of who I am. Will the sun shine again? I cant eat and i dont sleep. God help me!

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Jan 16, 2018

@diver1972 He did all the above. It wasn't until May 2017 when I noticed. I asked him what was going on.
He was distance and staying out late. He ensured me everything was okay. But I knew different his behavior was different. He lose weight, brought cologne new shoes and was spending more and more time away from home. When we finally talked he told me it was me. As mad and angry as I am at him I'm also mad with myself for believein in him when he told me we would work thru this one day at a time. I'm mad with myself because I let my guard down and trusted him.

Jan 16, 2018

@athomas anytime my ex also tried to blame me for her infidelity we had an arguement and she went to her aunts and slept with some stranger, she said she was mad at me and wanted to get back at me, said I didn’t pay her enough attention never fall for that crap. They know they are wrong and they know they are disgusting piles of trash for what they did. They just don’t want the responsibility for their actions so they try to strip us of our dignity hang in there cause I don’t know about anyone else but I’d rather deal with being alone than deal with living with trash like that.

Kas1966's picture
Jan 16, 2018

@athomas anytime I just pm you support me back and we can talk


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