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I'm new here. 2.5 months ago I accidentally discovered in gr

[180]

I'm new here. 2.5 months ago I accidentally discovered in great detail a affair my wife had been having for the last 1.5 years. It was happening on business trips with the co-president of the corporation she works for. He is her superior but that does not mean she is immune. She is on the executive team and is the General counsel and runs the HR department of over 2500 employees. If this were to become known he would be in the most trouble but she would be fired too. There was no crime here. It was a affair. We did not even have a horrible marriage when this happened. I think we were both pretty happy. Although I had become secondary by the time I discovered the affair. and she was struggling to hold onto this guy who treated her like garbage and therefore treating me like ****. I could not do anything right in her mind. After the discovery of course she lied over and over like everyone does. 11 weeks in and she is trying very hard to make things okay. we are going to therapy as a couple and both on our own too. She says she will do anything to make things okay. What she really means is she will do anything to pretend this didn't happen as far as everyone is concerned and go back to life as usual. A real big part of this is we have 2 young kids and she makes 95% of our income. So for now she goes back to work. She works in another department from the other man but the same building. They are in almost daily contact. I have no reason to believe this affair is not over for now. He is also married and has 2 teenage boys living at home and is paranoid his wife will find out. I made him meet me face to face 2 weeks after discovery. He was playing the pathetic card and doing a good job of it. I told him my kids are my #1 priority and therefore I would not go after his job as it would mean we loose our income too. I told him I had a free pass to tell his wife as he makes 100% of their income and it is in her best interist not to bring this to attn of the corp. He said that was true but she would burn his house down. He was caught having an affair 13 years ago when his wife was pregnant with their 2nd child and the marriage barley survived. I told him at that time telling his wife did me no good. I have since changed my mind about that comment but not acted. He bragged to my wife about another affair he had before her. Despite 12 years of me trying to boost my wifes confidence she has very low self esteem and him treating her like trash was a turn on. I'm trying to come to terms with who my wife is. She is not that great of a person, but I did fall in love with her for many reasons and for the sake of my kids I am going to try and work through this knowing full it could happen again. I've devoted the last 7 years to be a part time working from home, full time dad. I need to go pick up my kids but will be back to check this later. I am in a depressing first world life right now.

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PatMill's picture
[15885]
Jul 19

@devastatedinptbo I don't really follow politics, but I'd make an exception for you Haha Ain't gonna lie, Justin does have great hair!

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[12460]
Jul 19

@Ce4444 According to HR laws in my state, he would get fired, she would not. Because it is a position of power over her, it is always assumed that she may have felt she had no right to say no. I just recently went through sex harassment training and this exact scenario came up. Dwell on that for a bit and maybe get some legal advice before making any decisions to spill the beans.

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[12460]
Jul 19

@MrBrains And who better to understand the nature of women than men who write books for other men! LOL

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