I'm feeling really low right now. It's been a rough week. A

I'm feeling really low right now. It's been a rough week. A week ago my H said he wanted a divorce. We still live together but sleep in separate rooms. It's very uncomfortable being around him because he acts like if nothing is wrong and I've had a hard time functioning this week. I'm upset with my self because we have three small children that need me. Flashback to a week ago I found out he went to a massage parlor (I went and got tested for std/hiv yesterday) so I confronted him and he didn't like that. He called me to tell me he couldn't do this anymore. He didn't want to live his life under a microscope. I agreed I can't live this way anymore either. The very next day we had a family event to go to at our kids school and he suggest we all get ice cream after. I declined so he took the kids with out me. He keeps trying to make small talk with me and Ive been distancing myself from him. It's hurting me that he is acting like if nothing is going on between us. On Valentine's Day he send me a text because I won't answer his phone calls and said he wanted to talk And He said we didn't have to figure everything out tonight he just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I didn't respond. When he came home from work that night he gave me a very expensive gift. I accepted it and said thank you. It was so awkward! We never talked that night like he wanted. So the next day I was looking thru his stuff and found he purchased a Womens silk robe. I definitely didn't receive that! I also seen he was planning a trip to Florida next month. He is getting ready to leave for military training in a few days and he will be gone for a month. It's so upsetting that he makes the time to plan this trip during his "training ". He also deleted his Facebook. Which he has done before when he is trying to hide something. This is typical behavior of him. I've been told I'm in denial and I know I don't deserve this. It's so hard to walk away. Counseling is not an option for him. I'm willing to go for myself. I don't like how he always runs away when the going get tough. We have been together almost 11 years married for almost 5. I don't come from a family of divorce so this has been really hard on me. Venting has helped some.

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CKBlossom's picture
[447990]
Feb 17

How are you today hun?

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[295]
Feb 17

Ok. I'm taking the kids out of town for the weekend to clear my head. I'm sad. I still love him. we have a great family life, losing it all is killing me inside.

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[145]
Feb 17

This doesn't sound healthy. You deserve better, he's not willing to put in the time or effort. A fancy gift is like a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches.

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