Idk if anyone remembers me but I belonged to this group and

Idk if anyone remembers me but I belonged to this group and stopped coming here about a year ago because I wanted to work on things by myself . Reading about cheating would get me triggered.
A lot has happened in the last year. I am finally at peace with my decision to stay in my marriage and try to save it. I still cry from time to time but I'm not in the dark place I was 2 or 3 years ago. Devastatedhusband would tell me to move forward and stop thinking about the affair because this was my husband's burden to bear for the rest of his life but I didn't believe him, I thought I would be the one to carry this because I was the one hurt and betrayed,my husband was the one having fun . I now understand what devastatedhusband was saying and I believe him.I can see it in my husband and in his sadness of what he has done.( It's his burden to bear,not mine)
In November he had triple bypass surgery and the only thing he wished for was to live so that we can have extra years together. He tells me that he is the luckiest man alive because I am still here with him and the only time he is happy is when I am with him. I believe that he really loves me.
I'd like to thank everyone who helped me through my darkest time, devastatedinptbo, kas1966,
devastatedhusband,scat,johnyun20, chasethetruth, fiftyyoung.I know I forgot a few.
I even made 2 very good friends here Diane22 ( which I speak with everyday)and fiftyyoung.
Everyone here on this message board has gone through unbelievable pain, I know how it feels and don't wish this on anyone. I wish everyone the best.

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Merphurts's picture
Mar 9

Thank you Johny. My husband says I'm the best person in the world. ( I doubt that but happy he thinks that).He says he never truly appreciated me the way he should have, but now he does .I always remember you are a strong believer in Karma . Idk if his health issues is Karma( he also has kidney issues) but my husband keeps saying that this is God's punishment. I don't ask him punishment for what so idk if he means the cheating. I now understand that it's his burden to bear for the rest of his life. I always thought it was mine .
I know you are a very tough man and I appreciate all the advice you gave me.

Mar 10

WOW thanks for your post. I had not been here for a bit for the same reason that the stories are triggering. I came today because I am just shy of a year and in great place. Our relationship is growing and I see us trying to address the things that were wrong in our relationship. We are doing that while we both heal from the infidelity and yes we both have to heal. I love what you said about his burden to bear. I also want to thank the folks in this group. In the desperate hours of DDay I found this site and it has helped so much.

Scat's picture
Jun 10

I remember you and am sorry I didn't see this post sooner. I have thought about you from time to time and did miss you. I'm so happy you are at peace about your decision to stay. I'm so glad to see you two have managed to come to terms with everything. It was always apparent to me that your husband was sorry for what he did and wanted to make things right. Forgiveness is freeing.

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