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I wish i had a dime for every person that says they are remo

I wish i had a dime for every person that says they are remorseful and wants to work it out. I get it. Nobody *wants* to be the bad person. And maybe noody is truly a *bad* person. They made a bad choice. We are imperfect and we make decisions based on what we know. But we don't know, what we dont know. A cheater doesn't know the impact their choice will have on their family. They think only in the moment and based on their life experience and what they were exposed to. They may know no better. They may be a victim of abuse. They are products of the environment that they were exposed to. Like those in the Nevada desert with the bomb testing. Exposed to detrimental elements causing cancerous invasive growths with fatal outcomes. Unless we know ourselves can we begin to fix what ails us. What we think is a normal family life may be completely the opposite and what we think is love is just a cycle of co dependency. We owe it to ourselves to fix what is deficient. Pride puffs up, but love builds up. Learn to love who we are so we can love those precious close to us.

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norseduncan's picture
[203490]
Jan 12

this is interesting, and I think very true. people are imperfect. sometimes we all make bad choices. sometimes what we think is good for us turns out to be not so much. and the antidote here is acceptance, caring, and love of self. on a different tangent that is yet the same concept, I am changing my diet. I have long eaten like utter crap. pizza IS a food group, etc. I have changed my diet, learning to cook better, to stir fry, to take better care of myself. taking this approach to other areas I think has the same effect.
I often talk on these boards of mindfulness. of being in the moment. but BEING in the moment and THINKING in the moment are not the same thing. if one is truly mindful in the moment it is clear that no, getting his/her number and making moves outside my committed relationship is not a good choice. and also no, pizza isn't actually a food group or a good choice for dinner lol. Those poor choices are from a place of THINKING in the moment, and not mindful at all.
and we don't really know well in most cases where a person is coming from or what has led them to the form in which we currently know them. I think it is good to also be mindful of that fact.
well said, Henrietta!

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