We didn't see that coming!!!


I suffer from obsessive thoughts. I find more and more evide

I suffer from obsessive thoughts. I find more and more evidence of affairs, but from years ago. I debate bringing it up to my husband since I know he’s faithful now. He admitted to a 1 night fling couple years ago but recently I’ve discovered that it was an affair and not just once. What do I do. I’m drinking myself crazy re looking up phone logs, videos of proof..etc. advise?!

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NevaMae99's picture
Mar 27

Broken trust is a hard thing to deal with. On top of the affair itself, there was the dishonesty afterwards. It makes it even harder to learn to trust again because you don't know deep down if they are hiding something again. Are you guys able to talk about it openly?

Mar 27

You will continue to have the obsessive thoughts until you confront your husband with the new information. I deal with that daily. It is frustrating for my husband because he thinks he has been honest, but I keep uncovering new information. You won't be able to truly move forward until he tells you the truth. But, how you approach it is important. I am not expert because I keep screwing up and doing it all wrong (basically accusing or shaming). But, maybe you can learn from my mistakes. Maybe let him know that you have found some new information that leads you to believe this was more than a 1 night fling. And while you believe his is currently faithful, ask him to tell you the whole story so you can truly move on and heal. He will likely be frustrated, but I think if he understands how much this nags and you and is holding you back, he'll give you what you need. I write this as I just found 3 pre-paid VISAs in the name of my husband's face facebook alias. They were never activated, but it did give me an indication of how far he was contemplating going to hide his affair expenditures.

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Mar 27

You deserve the truth, you have the evidence. How he answers will tell you all you need to know.


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