I need some sort of hope or if not hope something. For those

I need some sort of hope or if not hope something. For those who have chosen to stay with their spouse. Do things ever get better? Does that weight ever go away? if so how long did it take for you to feel somewhat okay again?

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(865)
Jan 14

When I started focusing on acceptance vs forgiveness I feel like my brain settled down, the anxiety, overwhelming pain seemed to stop. With acceptance I feel like I stopped the spying game, the tracking game, getting trigged when I see him on the phone. I had to tell him how triggering it is to see him on the phone, even when he is at his computer. He is doing all he can but we have a lot of work to do. He has lots of baggage to address on his own. But we are working like a team. we
affair no affair there is no guarantee in relationships. My gut tells me my husband loves me and does not want to ever stray again and he wants to repair the relationship
he had to tell me not to rush to forgiveness and he was right about that
Just be kind to yourself, we are stronger than we know.

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(150)
Jan 14

@MDMermaid so did you ever forgive him or did you just learn to accept it?

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(865)
Jan 14

Honestly I am not sure , I just know that I am less triggered and less interested in the what happened with the affair and more present and trusting of this new relationship we are are creating I do trust him but I also know how broken he is so will he do something self destructive again, maybe. will be be an affair probably not. will i stay with him probably but maybe not. But acceptance, made me stop taking on any of the blame that I have been holding. I let go of that and I told him I need him to be strong for me.

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