This week's Brilliant New Topic: Happy Tears, Sad Tears, Tears abound in 2020!

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I need some advice...My husband just found out 3 weeks ago t

I need some advice...My husband just found out 3 weeks ago that I was having an affair, mostly via text but we ended up sleeping together 4-5 times. This all started when Covid quarantine hit. I don't know what I was thinking as my husband is an amazing man who does everything for me. I was looking for new attention from someone new as I'm getting older and don't feel as attractive as I once was. The friendship I had with this guy went further than it should have. The whole thing was about 6 months, but 2 months of a physical relationship. My husband confiscated my phone and sent it to a recovery center and retrieved every text, photo and video we sent each other. To put it mildly, he is completely devastated and shattered and I don't think he will ever forgive me for this. I'm heartbroken that I caused him this much pain. I want to try and reconcile and make our marriage work. We've been together almost 30 years and have 2 grown children. My question is to the men out there whose wives have had an affair and you've caught them with photos or any evidence....is this too much to overcome??? Will he ever be able to look at me again or have a relationship with me??? He loves me unconditionally but I'm not sure that's enough for the damage I've caused. Please give me any advice you have on how to try and fix this mess I made. I cut all ties with the guy I was seeing.... thanks for your input

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[110]
Oct 2

@regret2020 Yes very similar, and i ask my self how any one could do something like this to the person thy love?? My wife and I have so much work still ahead of us, and by no means are we safe. You have your work cut out for you, and be patient, the shame and embarrassment he feels is ugly
and will take a long time to go away, and he will not look at you with the same admiration and respect he had. I will say a prayer for you both

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beth65's picture
[35775]
Oct 3

Did your husband not desire you? During covid you were willing to take a chance on making your husband sick? Not to mention VD. Too bad you didn't exchange those hot texts with your husband instead of someone else. Would you husband have been into that? I know a couple that survived a full on affair. They separated for 6 months and he even lived with the other woman a while. Somehow they got through it and they are stronger than ever, but it took many many years and it was never quite the same after that for her. She would never trust him the same. It made her feel like a wh*re. She said she had to eat crap in counseling with him before he snapped out of it. But she decided her marriage would be over when she decided it was over. For his part he has never made a move since without checking in with her. If he stops at the store he checks in...30 years later. He would not have gotten a second chance.

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[110]
Oct 5

Well said, yes i made my wife go down and get tested for any Sexually transmitted dieses. she was embarrassed but did it. And yes i agree, i asked my wife the same thing, i love sexting LOL. and she new it. So i am with you. Will my wife and i survive, time will tell, But i wish Regrett the best

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