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I have had an emotional, romantic and sexual affair (never


I have had an emotional, romantic and sexual affair (never physical) for the past 18 months on the Internet. The woman I cheated with found out and is threatening to expose me to my wife, friends and family. She says my wife has a right to know. That's true. I also believe that while it is the obvious self-serving option, my wife also has the right to remain happy. I'm dedicated to seek counseling and support groups to understand why I've done this and how I can not do it in the future. I'm pleading with the other woman to give me a chance to be the man we both agree my wife deserves. Other than my affair we have a happy life together. I appreciate any support or advice. Thank you.

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Bee4bdn's picture
Sep 17

@Tyler5 What are you going to do if your wife is not the type that can just get over infidelity? I've spent this weekend with such a wife. She's decided to divorce and she's already settled her mind on an attorney because she's not like me. I barely stayed and she has no intention of staying. My husband is the one who told me or I'd never known. Of course he was tired of the OW always threatening. You can't have a secret and expect intimacy in your marriage. Your secret will become a wedge between you. Your OW will eventually out you even if she swears she won't. My advise is to learn to grovel quickly and easily. That's why I stayed. Oh and you had better be forthcoming with the truth as well as telling her that you don't want to lose her. This whole thing is very confusing to a betrayed spouse but mostly because we go into a constant state of fight or flight. My friend is currently in flight mode. She may stay in that mode or go back and forth like I did. That's going to depend on you and how much longer you're going to assault her with your lies and omissions of the truth. Any blame shifting, rug sweeping, pity partying will only bring on more Flight mode mentality. Why's are elusive even with professional help!

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Sep 18

@Bee4bdn well said

Sep 18

@Bee4bdn I think he has disappeared off the site.......


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