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I have been married 19 and a half years and never once thoug

dadobuns's picture

I have been married 19 and a half years and never once thought cheated on my wife until this past January. The other woman is someone I knew from high school. It started out by us reconnecting over social media. I had no intention of becoming emotionally attached, but that's what ended up happening. This past January, we met up in between the 1000 miles that separated us. We ended up having two adulterous affairs meetings over January and February. I have since tried to break it off completely but it is extremely difficult. In April, I came clean to my wife and over the course of the past couple months, she has forgiven me. However, I cannot stop thinking about the other woman. I have read articles, books, and watched videos about how to get beyond the OW. I want to repair things with my wife and she has been 100% supportive. The problem is with me as I still think about the OW. I have good days, and I have bad days. On the bad days, I cannot get the thought of the other woman out of my head, despite wanting to.

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Jun 15

@dadobuns repent...that is your only way out of this

Ana08's picture
Jun 16

@dadobuns You are in control of your thoughts-not the other way around. It takes effort to control your thinking but you can do it. As soon as you realize you are thinking about her think about something else (like your favorite memory with your wife). You can train youreslf to not think about her. You are on a slippery slope get off now before you inflict more pain on your wife. This is my opinion, but thinking about the OW, is CHEATING on your wife.

dadobuns's picture
Jun 17

@Ana08 thank you. It has been pretty tough, but I'm trying to stay on-course. My wife has been nothing but supportive and understanding. I am trying to expel thoughts of the OW out of my head but sometimes memories are triggered by the most random of things. Again, I appreciate input and insight from those who have shared with me constructive ways on how to deal with that as I try and repair things and make amends with my wife.


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