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I have been married 18 years. I have caught my husband cheat

I have been married 18 years. I have caught my husband cheating. He ended it at that time. The requests I have made to help me trust him again. He hasn’t really done. I caught him approximately 8 years ago. I have tried so hard to trust him. Recently I have caught him with a lot of porn on his phone. He and a friend have been sharing porn. He has made comments about the women in the porn photos. I have tried talking to him about it. He has basically said that he likes the porn and he won’t stop with it. He also said he’s into other women like that. I am so devastated.

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Jan 14

Thank you for your kind words. It just really hurts so bad.

Jan 14

I think that we, sometimes have a different perspective than women. Where a man might see some innocent flirting with a waitress or (whomever it may be) as friendly and outgoing it's perceived differently to women. He may think because it's just an emotional thing that it doesn't matter. Someone fairly recently told me something that really resonated with me "if it's important to your spouse it doesn't matter how silly it may seem it needs to be important to you." If it hurts your feelings it's doesn't matter how small or insignificant may seem, you can't help how something makes you feel. It seems he may need something drastic to "open his eyes" if you will. Perhaps some time for a separation to appreciate what he has?

Jan 15

I understand how you feel and I am very sorry you are going through this. I have been in your shoes. There are no easy answers. I pray you will have the strength to hold him accountable and create boundaries in your marriage with consequences that you will have the courage to enforce.


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