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I had a talk with my H last night about the ebb and flow of

2stayornot2stay's picture
[625]

I had a talk with my H last night about the ebb and flow of marriage. It evolved into talking about how we see each other and the role way have in each other's life. I'm a pretty active person and have passions that I pursue (riding horses and competing, etc) and my husband kind of, well, has nothing besides work and home. I started to wonder maybe he needs to get out there and pursue something (preferably not a female thing) because when 15 years of marriage gets stale, you need other things to help you stay fulfilled somehow. I don't want to be responsible for his happiness. I feel that's his job to manage his own well being. I don't know. Thoughts?

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chasethetruth's picture
[4655]
Oct 12

@Kas1966 I actually used the word "bored" when explaining my reasons for the affair. I have hobbies - no lake house, no beach house, no motorcycles, no weekend getaways, no activities that are just mine to do - and I have complained about my boring life for years. My job (working every Sunday for 30 years) and finances prevented me from pursuing some things I really would like to have/do, but those are excuses as well. I had one day a week with my wife/children - Saturday. That was a stressor for us in the end. I hope to do better going forward now that I don't get to work on Sundays anymore!

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2stayornot2stay's picture
[625]
Oct 12

I know for me, with my "hobby" of riding horses and competing in jumping, I'm always getting to feel that rush of adrenaline, excitement. I couldn't imagine life without it.

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Kas1966's picture
[83070]
Oct 12

@2saveornot2savemymarriage funny you said adrenaline and excitement because my husband used those very words about the affair.

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