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I found out when our son was 3 months old that my husband wa

[285]

I found out when our son was 3 months old that my husband was having an emotional and physical relationship (on and off) since before we got engaged. We've known each other for 3 years. I know for sure based on an app communication that they had sex while I was pregnant. He told me that I didnt make him feel like a man and that he never felt good enough. I dont know why he wanted to get married. It was his idea and he wanted kids immediately. He's currently deployed so I'm not sure if I want to let him move back in. He 100% wants to reconcile. I actually almost filled for divorce. I have my non negotiables that must occur before we recommit, but aside from the infidelity the biggest issue for me is can I accept him for who he is? I'm not the same since I had my son. His calm and lax persona doesn't scream 'head of the household' when it was once a compliment to me. Not sure if therapy can help. I dont know what to do.

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[285]
Jul 11

@FOF9303 thank you. I've been going to therapy for about 5 months now. I started going to church again and seaking guidance. I've attempted to journal but I still feel broken. I haven't yet had quiet time to talk to myself and sort through all the nose....not like I should. Actually listen to my intuition. My mind is always changing

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[285]
Jul 11

@PieceByPeace I guess I'm surprised I haven't heard anyone drag me because I'm even considering reconciliation even though he was having this emotional relationship when we were still dating and turned physical when I was pregnant.

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[2600]
Jul 17

Listen...no judgements here. I stayed with my cheating husband for 15 years "reconciling" with him several times. I held onto the hope that one day he would realize he wanted to be a part of our family. Some husbands do wise up, others do not. There was finally a breaking point for me...we all have one...mine just took 15 years. I honestly have very little regrets. I'm trying to use that difficult time in my life for something good now. You hang on as long as you can...there's no shame in that.

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