I found out recently that my husband cheated on me a few yea


I found out recently that my husband cheated on me a few years ago, although I did suspect it long ago. I confronted him about it several times over the last several months and he lied every time and got mad that I suspected him. He maintained a friendship/sexting relationship with her until I found out. He has now finally completely cut off the relationship with her (in the last week) and really seems to be trying to repair the relationship with me. But I am afraid to trust him since he was so good at lying to me. How can I trust him again?

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Dec 4

@devastatedinptbo Thank you very much for the article. My husband is ready to read it with me tonight. He is committing to counselling as soon as we can find one. We talked and are going to work on some things.

Dec 6

@LME it’s though phone now or video conferencing. Depends where you work and he works as it might be covered for counseling?

beth65's picture
Dec 8

@LME I'm glad it sounds like he is willing to do the work. You may never blindly trust him the same again. I know a couple where he had an affair and even moved out for 6 months. They went to counseling and got back together and 30 years later they are stronger than ever. However it did change her trust in him. To this day he checks in wherever he goes. Esther Perel writes and talks a lot about affairs. I do not know if she would be a helpful resource. You can find her on YouTube. She is hard for me to take at times because I lean conservative in my thinking (but liberal in my voting) and she is very open minded, but she is very astute. The thing she said that sticks with me is that when someone has an affair they are often happy in their marriage but are experiencing a different part of themself. It's a part of themself they are looking for. I may be butchering that. The other thing she says is that people betray one another. Even in open relationships one will break the ground rules and the other is then devastated.

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