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I found out about my husband’s affair on 12-23-17. For the

Dryad's picture
[14000]

I found out about my husband’s affair on 12-23-17. For the most part, I’m doing well. I can go for long periods of time without actively thinking about it (although like most here, it is always in my mind somewhere, like a death you never really stop grieving.). However, when I get to the end of August, which is when it started, the feelings come back. This is the third time around the calendar, and the pain and the questions are coming to the forefront again. It really sucks, bc September through December has always been my favorite time of year. It includes my birthday, our anniversary, as well as Halloween, thanksgiving, and Christmas. I hate the sadness that comes over me now. I’m not really looking for advice, but wondering if anyone else experiences something like this. I hate to think I’ll feel sadness in my favorite season for the rest of my life. His affair ruined so many things I cherished or even just liked, such as movies or songs or whatever. It’s hard not to feel resentment over the idea that autumn is no longer my happy time of year.

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Kyleah's picture
[10940]
Sep 15

@Dryad It is so hard when they lie. My husband initially said it was the first time (the affair I found out about). Then by looking at his email I realized that he had at least one more affair, and by searching the internet learned she had moved 2 years prior, so this was not recent. It eventually came out that it was many women over 6 years. It was brutal. Ultimately, he told me the truth. The lies are always the worst part. The lies when they refuse to fess up to all that they have done, and then the realization of the years of lying while they were cheating. And, their ability to just go on with life while they were lying. That is actually the hardest part of all, that he could act "normal" while he was doing what he was doing.

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[4685]
Sep 15

@Dryad I am really sorry to hear that. I think this is a fear for everyone that has gone through it. I just don’t understand the lying.

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Dryad's picture
[14000]
Sep 16

Found a good article on trickle truth and why it’s so destructive. I told him it isn’t the affairs that make me wonder if we will make it. It’s his lying. http://www.move-beyond-the-affair.com/blog/2014/7/5/why-the-trickle-truth-hurts

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