I feel very uncomfortable around my wife. Not sure what this

I feel very uncomfortable around my wife. Not sure what this means. I am desperate to resume a physical connection with her but certainly won’t initiate anything myself ( it’s been an issue in the past). I felt this way even before I found out what she did. Today is my birthday and I get nothing physically from her. Selfish of me maybe, but I need that in my life. But she has morphed into a stranger and I have no idea what to do about that. We are going away together next week. Maybe that will help

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@Confusedandhurting one thing that makes me angry is that I was not fulfilling a need of hers, so she went to someone else. Now, she isn’t fulfilling my needs, but I wouldn’t dream of going to someone else . 27 years together and I never have.

Leahzan's picture
May 3

@Confusedandhurting This was an issue in my relationship. I wasn't fulfilling a need that my husband had. I owned that upfront and it was the sole reason I was willing to give our marriage a chance after his infidelity. But, he wasn't willing to provide me the emotional support I needed and ultimately wasn't willing to provide the physical intimacy I needed either. I think what it came down to was 1) either too much shame, 2) since his emotions are repressed he can't provide physical intimacy (only no-strings attached sex), 3) he didn't really want to stay and was just waiting for me to make the move. I told him I needed physical intimacy (touch, hugs, snuggling on couch, lying in bed together talking, sex, all of it) but he just refused or was incapable. He certainly couldn't say it was because he didn't know because I was upfront many many times.


@Leahzan thanks for the reply. I was a no strings attached sex guy. I was incapable of showing or feeling emotion, something I am working very hard on. I’ve made my issues and needs very clear to her. Nothing had changed as of yet. Patience I guess it’s only been a couple months.


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