I cheated on my husband before we got married. It was mainly

I cheated on my husband before we got married. It was mainly by email with the occasional meet up and a kiss etc. I don't even know why i did it but i think i liked the easy attention and i have to come to realisation that i have some serious self esteem issues perhaps due to things that happened in my past. The man i had the affair with was married with 3 children. The stupid thing was that i never ever wanted or could see a future with him and i genuinely love my husband. I broke it off with the man around 7 months before i got married and then 6 months later we started emailing again and i started cheating again. This time things were more physical and we never actually slept together but i did put myself in positions where it could have easily happened.
I never told my husband out of fear that i would lose him which was very selfish. He found out because the guy's wife found emails and then tracked down my husband on FB and told him. To make things worse in the beginning it was my instant reaction to lie about how long it had been going on, what actually happened etc. And part of me did this to protect myself from losing my husband and a big part of me did it because i didn't want to hurt him. It's no excuse and he deserved to know the whole truth. I have told him the whole truth now and i have come to the realisation that honesty is the only way.
Since finding out my husband has been very confused. It hurts to see him so hurt. I can honestly say that i want nothing more than to work on things and show him that i love him and he can trust me again.
I have also come to the realisation that i need to make a lot of changes for myself and this has to be for me because for me to work on things with him i have to want to change and help myself.

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Aug 24, 2017

Its wrong that you repeatedly cheated on your husband. But the damage has already been done and you trying to work so hard to build the relationship again. Its so hard to build a broken TRUST. But i can tell you to be yourself. Don't try to be hard on yourself. One step at a time and it will come back.

Piwo33's picture
Aug 24, 2017

My wife had a 4 year affair. When I caught them in the act (sexting) she made believe that was all they did. Almost a year later I found out that was not the case. They met often. In our home. His home and other places to have sex.

I tell you this because I don't believe for a second that you didn't have sex with him. Cheaters are like politicians. They lie until they can't lie anymore. They only own up to the acts that can be proven.

If you are being honest with your husband you should figure out a way to prove to him that you never had sex. But understand anything sexual between you and the AP is infidelity even talking about sex.

Mar 6

@Nurse101. I ran across your post and it really hit home for me. I too have cheated on my husband. We are trying to work it out but its so hard. I feel like I am constantly apologizing and explaining myself. I'm sooo tired of reliving each detail and talking about it. How are you and your husband getting through it? Any pointers will help. Thanks


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