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I am trying to work through things with my husband. He has s

I am trying to work through things with my husband. He has shown genuine remorse and is doing everything he can to show me he cares. Some days are great. But then others are just terrible. It will be 5 weeks on Friday since d-day.

We were spending the day together on Sunday with our son. We were having a really good day, but then I got a trigger. I got over it in about a half hour, but then a couple hours later I got another trigger. It basically ruined our day.

He has told me that the affair didn't mean anything to him, and that does help, but that doesn't erase it. I get so down that it is really hard to cope. My husband wants me to open up to him when I get like this so he can help me, he said. But then I can see the shame overwhelm him and that is not what I wanted. I just want to get over it myself. I just wish I had someone to talk to with all of this. The one person that knows, my best friend, is extremely moody and for the last two weeks she hasn't been talking to me...I don't know why. I think I messed up her relationship, though. You see, to all outsiders, I had the fairy tale relationship. I've been with this man for 7 years and I've had people recently ask me if I ever had marital problems because we just seem like the perfect couple. We have always acted like we just met yesterday - we could never get enough of each other. Towards the end of my pregnancy that changed things. My friend sees it as though if me and my husband couldn't make it, why would anyone. So she has been questioning her own relationship and it has apparently been causing her and her boyfriend a lot of problems. I am not making excuses for her insecurities, I just wish they didn't get in the way of our friendship. I really need someone right now.

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Mar 13, 2018

@froggymom Yes, we have tried 3 different counselors and found one we really like and are going to continue to see her. It is definitely helping, but the pain is still very present. I know it will just take time, but I hate how it comes to mind ALL the time. No matter what I do. I also can't help but question my h all the time. For example, if he goes all morning without texting me I think, would he have texted the ow by now? And according to his history, he probably would have. They were basically in constant communication. Which doesn't make sense to me. I just don't understand the why in all this. I don't get it. And I keep coming back to that, no matter what he tells me or how many times he tells it to me.

Mar 13, 2018

I think it's natural for your best friend to feel that way. I felt alienated when my brother and when my uncle went through their divorces because I thought they had such strong marriages that it ruined my trust in humanity. Eventually I got past it.

Mar 14, 2018

It is expected to have these feelings right now. The marriage and relationship need to be repaired and the trust rebuilt. It can be done with hard work by both partners. Hang in there. If you get these negative thoughts, replace them with a positive one. Remember to forgive someone for infidelity takes great strength. You are doing fantastic! I am praying for you.


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