I am feeling numb & hurt. Married for 17+ yrs, two kids - on

I am feeling numb & hurt. Married for 17+ yrs, two kids - one autistic. I found that my wife has been having extramarital emotional & virtual relations for the past 11 years with multiple men - ex boyfriend from before marriage, co-worker (last 11 years), old school friend (last 3 years). This has been happening at different times and at some point at the same time. I stumbled upon a cache of photos, videos, chats, love letters etc... when confronted the reason given we did not had enough sex. Plus I was being pursued and wooed then started developing feelings for others. But hang on having virtual relation will not solve the problem she stated. She agrees she made a mistake and is asking me to forgive and forget and treat it as porno obsession incident. But I cannot even fathom how to get over the fact that she has been doing this for last 11 years and very effectively hiding it from me. I just cannot even begin to explain the pain I am going through. Was I living a lie for the last 11 years or so. We had a son who turns out to be Autistic and is clinically proved to be linked to chromosome X from mother. I have spent countless hours planning strategizing on how to take care of the kid along with my teenage daughter's education and well being. I have no idea how to get past this feeling of hurt and numbing pain.

show more
Comment
 55
View 52 More Comments
(290)
Sep 18

@Leahzan I can relate to that. My wife in our recent talks have shared that how she has always felt that I was better looking than her and I could have gotten any other girl. Their own personal insecurities play a part in their infidelity.

Reply
(290)
Sep 18

@Leahzan we are the victim of a deceit but wiser now than before. Hopefully stronger than before after going through agonizing fire of emotions. But I agree that we need to take better care of ourselves. I have been busy taking care of everyone except me. It is time for me to "really" care for me emotionally.

Reply
(290)
Sep 18

Found an online resources: https://www.onlinedivorce.com/blog/when-to-walk-away-after-infidelity/
I was able to relate to it and does provides a template to follow. Not that it needs to be followed blindly but does answers are lot questions I was asking myself.

Reply
Who Answers?

Where do calls go?

Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by one of our treatment partners below.

Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) for your visit will be answered by one of our treatment partners, a paid advertiser on supportgroups.com.

  • ARK Behavioral Health

All calls are private and confidential.

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account