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I am at a loss right now, it seemed as though my H and I wer

I am at a loss right now, it seemed as though my H and I were doing very well considering everything, and a couple of days ago I found out that the contact did not stop when he told me it did. There were 6 either text conversations or phone calls over the past 6 months. Nothing since July 9th, and both state that the relationship was over and these conversations did not cross the line if they would have been with anyone else. (I reached out to the OW because the actual messages are gone) But I am at a loss. Do I keep trying with him? Or is it time to walk away?

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[620]
Aug 10

@Kas1966 I feel uneasy for sure. I’m watching to see how things go.

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How are you doing now? I know this has to be so hard. Have you considered couple's counseling? When we are flooded with emotions, it is not always easy to step back and get a clear perspective. A counselor who is not emotionally invested in the situation can really help with that. Would you and your husband be willing to try something like a marriage boot camp? I have heard of a marriage intensive which is 3-5 days called Hope Restored. They claim that 80% of couples who go through the program are married still two years later and happier than they were before. You can google it. I know it is expensive, but I've heard they make scholarships available. It is worth checking out.

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WinterPixie's picture
[7010]
Aug 19

@KaaleidoscopePictures We both have major trust issues, so therapists have not been a help before and I feel this would just add more stress right now. It was very hard the fact that I found out about the contact over a month after it had stopped. Right now we are doing okay, he has been very forthcoming and understanding. Last night he even said he would never make my eggs with butter again, because this is a trigger for me, even if he doesn't understand it because they taste better. We have a week long trip coming up that will be just the 2 of us, this is the first time we are going on a trip just as a couple, so I am going to hold off on making any decisions until then.

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