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I’m feeling deep pain right now. I thought my husband and

I’m feeling deep pain right now. I thought my husband and I were on a path forwards when tonight I read a recent message to his friend saying he was confused and talking about the ow beinh younger and in another country so not sure whether it could ever work out with them. I never felt the need to check his phone, I thought it was over with them and felt ok that those feelings for him were in the past.
He was very angry that I checked his phone, saying he has no privacy any more and his internal thoughts should not be what I read. He said he has been advised by his therapist to open up and confide with his family and friends and that I should never have encroached on this.
I’m so upset. I thought I was getting stronger but feel totally gutted by this. He just seems incapable of giving me what I need to heal and needs space and time that I don’t know I can give him. All seems so backwards. Help!

View 42 More Comments
Sep 12

I can see in time, maybe, possibly, the right to 'privacy', but honestly after cheating he should be giving access to everything whether he likes it or not. That's the only path to healing and being able to trust him. You NEED full transparency. Period. All therapists will say that I'm sure. And you have the right to ask him about anything you find especially if he is 'confused'. It always blows my mind how selfish the cheater can be.

Sep 14

Communication and total transparency are the only way if you are to work it out.... I dont think I could stay with anyone after that kind of betrayal

Sep 14

Hey Bri, I’m sorry I don’t know what you should do. I thought about it in the last 24 hours and I really just don’t know. You have two kids with your current husband, so those kids need you both and you are having a kid with your AP, and that kid deserves parents. And your AP wants to care for the child. I’m not sure what to do.


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