This week's Topic: Halloween isn't the only scary thing this year!
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Km27's picture

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Aug 5

Interesting for me to realize after 5 years that I have felt like I had to stay if he was remote and did all the right things. But it is still VERY difficult to feel good about my decision.

Aug 5

@confuzion7410 Exactly! BS are put in a NO WIN situation. We do the BEST we can with the situation we have been given. So whatever we choose should be good enough. I also stayed mostly for the kids at first.

devastatedinptbo's picture
Aug 5

@Yousaid4ever Yes, I like how you put it ... we’re in a no win situation. If we leave, then we’ve lost our relationship and face all the hurdles of starting over when we didn’t want to. This could be especially hard to swallow if our spouses are remorseful and becoming better people because if we leave now we still have the pain and trauma of betrayal, but we watch our new and improved spouses start over with clean slates and potentially new people, being the kind of spouse they should have been for us.
If we stay, we deal with living day in and out with the person who caused us this trauma, and we’re supposed to learn to trust and respect them again. Not to mention the loss of self respect.... I find it a very difficult choice.


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