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How many of you contacted the AP or their spouse? Are you g


How many of you contacted the AP or their spouse? Are you glad you did or didn't and why?

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Jun 1

@Carla10 That actually sounds ideal to me. In a perfect world I could write to the OW, tell her everything I think about her and everything she should be thinking about herself, but I wouldn't have to interact with her. So many people have told me that reaching out to the AP is not rewarding and that they tend to be hurtful and selfish. I just want to know that she went through even just a little bit of pain, even though it'll never be equal to the pain she caused me, and I don't want to give her the opportunity to cause any more pain for me. I realize that this is not possible and that is why I haven't reached out yet. That being said, I also have not allowed myself to drink since Dday because I don't want to spiral. I may lose my inhibitions when I finally do.

Carla10's picture
Jun 3

@AlliRow Drinking has been a detriment to my emotional state so keep it up. I probably would not have contacted her if not for the liquid courage. I have had some contact with the OW's H through facebook. I told him of the affair and he said she is not remorseful at all. He said he is hurt but they will move past it. I just can't believe no one is as hurt as I am. They just see it as a bump in the road. After I texted her on Sunday, he blocked me out of facebook messenger so I know that they talked about my texts. To me that is better than ignoring and pretending it was not a big deal.

TryingToTrust100's picture
Jun 3

@trytoforgive I 100% agree. It’s not worth it to have their hateful words stuck in your head for the rest of your life. Show them you could care less about them. They are not important to you or your SO


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