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How do you know when you are a chump or just in love and car


How do you know when you are a chump or just in love and care for your partner. Like one person said for better or worst no one said what the worst would be. I feel so broken from my wife's gas lighting, blame shifting and making me feel crazy. Dribbling of information as recent as 2 days ago and even being honest to say she still has or thought she had complicated feelings of love for AP. I almost do not know if she knows what she wants in her life. I am in it and I feel after standing up for myself and not allowing the lies to continue or blaming myself (thanks so much for support here) she is doing the work and in it. Reading books talking hearing listening. The problem is I am so broken now and trying to rebuild trust off of all that damage is hard. The vision of her and him hurts like crazy but the idea of how she was deceitful is scarier. The way she tells it in a love story fashion. But I love her in my gut and at the same time want to leave. I am afraid because I can say "but she is different" because I hold on to what I once knew and even today before marital therapy she has been saying and doing all the work seems required but how do you know if it is real. Time? But that feels so damaging. I think with the letter she was proposing to write to the AP along with new discovery of intercourse I might need to bring up trial separation. I am afraid of this and feel bad in some ways to do it but I think I need space more space to really think so does she.

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Jun 2

@catch_the_music i have heard of it. Interested are they running during Covid? I will look into this thanks. We are in marriage counseling but interested in this

Jun 2

I think that processing individually through individual counseling may help you to separate the feelings.

beth65's picture
Jun 2

This reminds me leader in DivorceCare told me she went to seminars about marriage held by her church after she was divorced. Which I found interesting. If I remember correctly when she was coping with her divorce, if her church was holding a seminar she went to it. And she found it quite helpful. She is happily remarried today. I don't know if it is the same kind as you're talking about.


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