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How do I know I have the whole cheating story?! I recently

How do I know I have the whole cheating story?!
I recently found out about my husband’s affair from the OW. (No hard evidence) I took time to think through how to handle and then confronted him with the information. He lied and denied it right to my face. Days later he then made up an elaborate story to avoid telling the truth. I knew that was a lie so I took him to the therapist where he tried to lie, was called on it, and then admitted to an emotional affair. I knew he wasn’t done. He came clean 10 hours later with the full emotional + physical part. To date it was 1 full-on emotional & sexual affair (1.5 years) and 2 ongoing friendships with inappropriate texting (on and off 5 years). He says that’s all.
We’ve been married 1.5 and together 8 years. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!
Based on the pattern of lying and manipulation, I don’t know if I have the whole story and I NEED to know.
We are doing couples and individual therapy and he’s committed to making this work. He’s doing all the right things and ended the affair 6 weeks before I found out about it. He never came clean on his own, she ratted him out (which I’m assuming was due to her own bruised ego).
Is this the extent of it?

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Jan 11

I agree with devastatedhusband and jaydubb47. This affair has changed who I am and has totally crushed my self esteem. I read all my husbands texts message between him and his wh0r3. I ask for every detail. I asked who was “better” and the answers burn in my brain and hurts like hell. I agree with being careful with what you want to know. Too much information might be too much to handle. I know way too much that I have so many triggers. Nothing is special to me anymore. I read his texts that he wrote to her during our son’s preschool graduation. I thought things were great. We were with family and I thought we were all so happy only to find out that he was texting her throughout the whole thing. He told her he wished he was with her instead and was trying to get out of staying with us. It hurt so bad. We had a family picture all together smiling looking happy. I can’t stand to look at that picture. My sons graduation is nothing but painful memories. I can’t have sex with my h without thinking “well while I’m in this position, he told me she did it better”. This has destroyed me and our healing. I hope nothing but the best for you and just telling you how things are for me.

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@noenoelani we are in the same spot. I know positions, what each said to each other, where they went, one time she told him that she was with me and my buddies house and all she could think of was him. I don’t think you can ever unknow this sh!t.

Mar 2

Wow... that sounds heartbreaking... So sorry... My first husband had a habit of leaving me when the weather got nice enough for him to go spend time out and about, so for 3 summers in a row, he left me either pregnant or with a little one/ones, and then when he was headed down that same path for a 4th one, I knew no matter what I said, he wasn't going to quit his cheating and lying. I had two babies to think about and did not want to contract something from his infidelity, so I ended the marriage. However, there are so many people who actually can and do take the time to make it work and put in the excruciating work of going through counseling and rebuilding trust with their mate. I would say that if he is doing the hard work, then it sounds like he is really committed to you and to your marriage. That is priceless in this society today and should be held onto, in my opinion. Many prayers for you both!


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