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Honestly, all other things considered, I think the BEST plan

MrBrains's picture
[25305]

Honestly, all other things considered, I think the BEST plan of action after infidelity is to divorce. EVEN if both THINK they want to reconcile.

Divorce, get some distance and time. Work on yourself (specifically the WS).

Down the road, if you want to start over, the time divorced with no obligation to come back makes it more likely it will actually be a MARRIAGE of two equally valuable people.

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MrBrains's picture
[25305]
Apr 24

@devastatedinptbo " I think my husband was scared to death I’d decide not to let him return however, so in my messed up state of mind I agreed to let him come home after about 6 weeks."..Well good. Fear is a good motivator, much more so than FEELINGS.

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[2565]
Apr 24

@MrBrains you make a good point. I would have preferred my WS to have voiced his unhappiness and a willingness to work on our marriage so that we both felt fulfilled. Instead he chose to betray me in a horrific manner. My first reaction upon discovery was to file for separation. Instead I decided to try and work on our marriage after seeing how sorry he was for his affair. I'm still not 100% sure we will make through the end together, but we're definitely in a better place now. I don't think he would have fully understood the depth of pain he caused if he hadn't been around me/with me on a daily basis.

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MrBrains's picture
[25305]
Apr 24

@starbucksdevotee It's helps you more than you will ever know that he is a WH and not a WW.

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