Hi I'm new here, MWM 50 in good shape, a professional, hardw

[120]

Hi I'm new here, MWM 50 in good shape, a professional, hardworking family man who has been married 21 years, we have a 17 year old daughter (who is the greatest). My wife was texting way too much and she put a lock on her phone. I knew something was wrong yet I did not want to confront her. So, I tried to spy on her to see if my suspensions where right. I purchased spy cams, car trackers, software to un-delete deleted messages (that worked big time) and then one Sunday morning, 3/28/2017 we had "the talk". She confessed. I cried. I felt (still feel) hurt. She and an old boyfriend reconnected. Over 3 months (Jan - Mar) 2223 text messages, 11 confirmed hookups, and 53 times she told him that she loved him. So much sex talk, so much kissing, laying down naked together, BUT! they never had intercourse (he is on blood pressure meds). She asked him "when can you do me", "when u gonna give me a ride on that horse", "there is a part of me that wants you inside of it", "when are you gonna get that thing fixed, I want it"... there is much more inappropriate conversation between them that just will not leave my mind and we are now 3.5 months out since it is officially "Over". BUT I CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER AND HIM NAKED, HIM LICKING HER AND MASTURBATING HER TO ORGASM. Now that I have printed out every text message they ever did 53 pages (2223 text messages) She had deleted them all and thought I would never know... well I walked into her work and laid a copy on her desk and said very kindly .."Hey baby, read this when u get a minute before you come home.... gotta run, bye". Her eyes were very wide open when she saw what the document was and now that she knew that I know wtf had happened. I saw all the dirty talk. The bad talk about me (the husband)... the man who she was trying to make out to be the bad guy in the eyes of her boyfriend, or in order to impress her impotent boyfriend. One time he was able to get a hard on and he actually sent her a video of it (at her request) ... he was so proud... and she was so turned on and excited.... So, are there any other men out there that have a woman you love, she has broken your marriage vows and you can not stop thinking about it. CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. I wanna stop thinking about it so bad. We have great sex now, she is kissing my ***, she says that it was all "just talk" and that she made a big mistake and that she will spend the rest of her life trying to make it up to me. I do not know that I can get over this... I provided well, we were having sex and intimacy during her affair, it was some what off as in not as frequent... but it never was an issue. Actually I would have been more OK with her just having raw animal sex than all the I love u's and I want u and the emotional crap. I feel I could get over the act of a one night stand better than a loving relationship between them where she tells him 53 times that she loves him and that she wants to be with him. I educated myself on "what women want" from a man (great course, helped me out started using some of that on her and I could tell it was working). I believe that she has stopped contacting him, I believe she is more into me now than ever, but I feel I need to know everything that happened every detail and I can't stop thinking about it. HELP ME GUYS! What can I do? must I move on and divorce her in order to stop thinking about her and him doing sexual things together... IDK.

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Piwo33's picture
[23710]
Aug 12

@timwood that's what I used.

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[2880]
Aug 12

@timwood
How old can the emails/texts be?

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Piwo33's picture
[23710]
Aug 13

@Hixyz As long as you or your spouse backed up the phone to a computer or cloud at some pointyou shoulf be able to get all the texts.

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