Hi, I really don't know where to begin. My husband cheated

I really don't know where to begin. My husband cheated on me almost 3 years ago. She contacted me on social media to let me know about it. He admitted everything and begged for my forgiveness. We were always happy and had/have an amazing sex life so I was completely shocked. Fast forward to this September and I found out he was actually seeing her for months here and there when he traveled. Then I found out there were 2 other women that were just a one night stand.I can't breath. I think about it every single day. We are still together and he is doing everything right. Does it ever get better? I don't know what to do at this point. I cry in the shower everyday. I feel like so much time has gone by that I look like an idiot bringing it up again. PLEASE HELP!
I am also dying to contact her. I check her facebook everyday, although I am not really sure what I am looking for.

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@Kas1966 Amazing article! Thank you so much for sharing. When I am ready I am going to email to my husband. I have such a hard time being open, and sadly I still feel guilty for bringing it up. This week has been really hard. I know I am not responsible in any way. It's just so hard for me.

John99's picture
Apr 6

Does it ever get easier i have know idea. I found out 3 days ago so I can't really answer. The images are less frequent but hurt more when they come.
We are all different and the circumstances are different for everyone.
Your feelings are real and you should not deny them or feel they are wrong. Ultimately you are the victim who is dealing with a very real tramua. He must come to understand that and so do you.
I wish none of us in this group had to go through what we did but we do. Just remember you are not alone and we all know what you're going through it really does help.
Hang in there you will be ok

Leahzan's picture
Apr 7

@forever-heartbroken There are a few things that you have to build on that I didn't. Your husband displays emotions and shows true remorse, and you still love him. I didn't have either of those things. Go to counseling. Based on what you've written it seems like you will regret leaving if you haven't felt like you've tried all avenues to fix your marriage. There are a number of people on this site who are 3+ years from dday and are still in their marriages. Some say their marriage is better, their relationship is better. It is possible. But, you can't go back in time and change what happened which I think is what all of us wish we could do. It is totally unfair and the reality is the one's who are betrayed have to carry the burden that we never asked for. While it should be the betrayer who has to work the hardest, it doesn't seem to work that way.


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