Hi everyone, I need your help. I am married with children to

Hi everyone, I need your help. I am married with children to my best friend for 18 years now. My husband is completely devoted to me and I have been the same to him. Some would say that we are extremely codependent because we are always together and hate to be apart, but we were happy that way. A few months ago, I met a married man who changed it all. We only saw each other once, but we had to work together online for a few weeks, which increased our phone, text, and chat interaction. Unfortunately that's all it took for me to fall into an emotional affair with him. We both tried hard to reject the strong physical attraction we feel, but this has been nearly impossible. We only saw each other once up to now, but we've become addicted to each other. We haven't yet engaged in ANY physical activity, because we agreed to get tested first, but we are on the verge of doing so. It is clear that if we engage, it will be purely sexual in nature for him, but both sexual and emotional in nature for me. Still, we both strongly agree that we will never leave our spouses under any circumstance. Sometimes we feel guilt, but the attraction is simply to strong and is overcoming our ability to reason. We both KNOW that we should not engage. Acting on our attraction is hence obviously wrong, but not acting on it is also physically and mentally affecting us. He once compared not acting on this feeling as being in a dessert and not being able to drink a glass of water. I often get rapid heart palpitations and find myself unable to breathe. He's on my mind 24/7 and I find myself sometimes unable to sleep. I've told my husband everything, after all, he is truly my best friend and he's been extremely supportive of my emotions. We've had some fights over how i've let this happen to us, but overall He's been very helpful, he understands that I do not feel this on purpose, but he wants to put most of the blame on the other guy, because (according to my husband) he enticed me into it. I don't see it that way. While he did first approach me, I believe the blame is mutual, for I should have stopped him dead in his tracks and I didn't. In the meantime, the guy's wife has NO IDEA of what is going on. I feel horrible for my husband because I can't imagine what he's feeling, but I also feel horrible for what i'm doing to the guys wife, especially because she is not physically well. So now i'm hoping that you all can help me find a way to reject what i'm feeling. How do I set aside my emotions and attraction, and if I do, will this feeling ever go away? Or will I have to live with this for the rest of my life? Please I ask you not to insult me, because I already feel like a horrible mother, wife and person. I just want this feeling to go away and continue my life with my best friend. I thank you for any guidance you can give me on the matter.

show more ⇓
Comment
 53
View 50 More Comments
[240]
Aug 16

@veronica_jones1 Thank you so very much for your comment. I truly appreciate it. Since posting, I've sought counseling and have started seeing a therapist. I'm now in the process of stopping contact. Thank you again.

Reply
[5015]
Aug 16

Do not blow away 18 years! If you are having these feelings honestly speak with someone even your husband but don't do it!

Reply
[2925]
Aug 16

@nikki4444 good for you!

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account