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Hi everyone, I am new to this group and still not to sure if

Hi everyone, I am new to this group and still not to sure if this will actually help but it may. So here I go my husband had a affair with a really close friend of mine for 8 years. We have been married since 2006 but we have been together since 1998. I love him a lot and I feel betrayed and heart broken and I can not get this sick feeling out of my stomach. We have 3 children together and have started counseling. I kinda just want to get advice from you guys as I really don't want to talk about it to my friends and family. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that it has went on that long. I mean I thought there was something going on with them and I confronted my husband about it over the years and he would always deny it. I think I believed him because I truly thought he would never do this to me. I have so many emotions running through me and anger. I am not a person who hates anyone and I truly hate the girl that he had this affair with. Will that feeling ever go away? Will the feeling of resentment go away? Could I honestly trust my husband ever again if I did decide to stay with him? There is so many questions and I truly don't know how to say it all. There was a lot that led up to this whole thing, and I think I blame myself because he was caught with her 8 years ago and they talked me out of hating them. They apologized and I believed them that nothing but the kiss happened. Now 8 years later they have went through a whole emotional and sexual relationship. To the point that they both were going to leave there wives (me) and husband. When hearing this my feeling is, is he just settling with me now that they broke up? or does he truly love me? He says he truly loves me and that is why he never left me and that him and the other one would fight about that all the time. When I was out with her and was on the phone with him he would always say love you to me and she would hear. There is so many questions and feelings going through my head it is hard to explain everything that went on in the 8 years. There was a lot and a lot that I am just realizing I put up blinders to, and I feel just stupid and dumb. I have always been happy with myself and the person I am and now I'm not even happy with that.

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Kas1966's picture
[128615]
Apr 14

@Bluedawg81 thats horrible

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[1480]
Apr 14

Lack of self esteem is right as well as tasteless.

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Ana08's picture
[2895]
Apr 14

@Bluedawg81 that is not uncommon (if you can believe that). My H brought home the OW when I was at work and the kids were at school. He snuck her into our home and slept with her on our bed (more than once). And I am pretty sure they did the same thing at her house (so her husband got to experience the same). Disgusting.

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