Hi everyone! First post ever. Wasn't sure how I wanted to de

lovemymunchkins's picture
[210]

Hi everyone! First post ever. Wasn't sure how I wanted to deal with my loneliness, pain, jealousy, trust, sadness until I stumbled upon this site. I don't even know where to start.... maybe the beginning.... I was married since 2010 dating the same person since 2008, I am not 30 and feel lost. My husband had an affair 4-5 years ago and I blamed myself, him and the lack of respect we both had for our marriage. I decided with some pressure from family to give him another change. We had our first daughter in 2011 and tried for 4 years with no luck, I gave up, I was going through the emotions of not having another child, another baby..... Still working through our trust issues and him needing more attention which seemed to always be the problem.... he wasn't the center of our marriage anymore our daughter was. Well we got pregnant in 2015 I was over the moon! We were both so happy or so I thought. Our second daughter was born September 2016 and I did not know at the time but he was already entangled in yet another affair.... Bring on 2017! What a year 2016 was couldn't believe we made it this far. Both new jobs, good jobs, with a future, a new baby, a wonderful 5 year old.... then I found out... January was a whirlwind of emotions, February was blank and March 1 we are in our own Townhouse just me and my girls....

Why do I miss him? Why do I still feel for him? Why do I want to help him?

He is already seeing someone new, moving into the same apartment building as her and he wonders why I am jealous... which I dont get either...

Has my heart just not caught up with my head???

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[7935]
Mar 20

@lovemymunchkins don't blame yourself for having proper morals and values, when it comes to you married. You have to understand that it's about HIM and has nothing to do with you. He's unhappy, he's insecure, he's a loser, he's selfish, he's greedy and so on and so on. Of course you feel horrible and jealous, we all do! They take you mind and r*pe it with their selfish acts. Time is the only thing that will help you. It's hard. Trust me, we all know. But you have support her. Focus on yourself and kids. He's in a fog right now. He's living "fantasy", he has no idea what's going to happen when "reality" kicks in. He's already done it twice and this proves, he's got a problem. When he gets bored of his new supply, he will kick her to the curb. Do you want someone who's already done this twice? Do you want him back for a third time? Please take care of you and the kids. Let him go and be a liar and a cheat to someone else!!! What are you jealous of? That some other woman gets to have his lies and gets to be cheated on? He's someone else's problem! What he is, he will take with him to every woman. Don't worry and have faith, things will get better. Wishing you well.

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lovemymunchkins's picture
[210]
Mar 20

@EmptyNdark every question I asked, all the answers you gave, they are there in my head all the time... I agree with every answer you gave. Thank you for saying it out loud. I haven't been able to say it... just think it. It helps to see it, read it, feel it. I am so glad I joined this group! Everyone is so amazing! I wasn't sure this would be helpful but it is!

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[7930]
Mar 20

@lovemymunchkins
I can understand why you would think that :( but I would imagine it's good to feel what you are feeling now. I mean that because you will fully process what you are going through and be ready to move on. Your H is in a fantasy world. This is a rebound/not going to last bc he hasn't processed all the major life changes that are happening right in front of him. Come to this site for support. We are all at different stages but can relate to something. You're a good mom to your girls and they will see that! Hugs :)

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